Unchaining The Soul

Towards the end of 2024 I returned from a trip where I felt intensely alive. Every day, with every cell, I lived life fully, immersed in the beauty of a place I did not know existed. I went there with no expectations, with a heart full of doubts and fears. I was tired and overwhelmed.

However, Mother Nature welcomed me with an explosion of colour, warmth, and love. My dear friends, whom I have not seen in a very long time, invited me to stay with them for a while. I was on auto pilot when I arrived, unable to let go of worries about the future. I was going through a big change in my life. Despite all these, I had a felt sense of breaking spiritual chains.

The soothing sound of water, the sun on my body, the tasty food made with ingredients grown in the back yard, all helped me get back on track. My body slowly recharged physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Moreover, long walks and good conversations allowed me to partially let go of what no longer served me. I was myself, vulnerable and raw with my friends. I felt loved, blessed, and accepted for all that I was. My friends gently embraced my doubts and fears, my emotional moments, and my daring ideas. We laughed, we shared, we bounced ideas. Above all, we immersed ourselves in the energy of the place with an open heart and much gratitude.

Suddenly, my body was flooded with a distinct sense of knowing where I want to live. How I want my life to look like. What I want to do more of. How do I make this happen, I wondered? Fears started creeping in again. Thoughts like “Maybe it’s not so bad where you are now”, “You can’t have that life you dream of”, “What if….” slowly surfaced. Obviously, I was resisting change.

I shook my head. I felt the tide, this strong current that was trying to sweep me back into the sea of ordinary, the known, the regular, the busy life I used to live. Unlike many other times, I propped myself with both my feet into the ground. I saw myself at the seashore, feet in the sand, looking far into the horizon, at the place where the sea embraces the sky.

“If you sweep me away”, I said to the sea, “you only do it to take me to a new place, to the life I want to live. I am not coming back with you to live the old life. Not anymore. I am grateful for the life I lived, and I thank you for this. It is time now to go towards new horizons, explore new places and try things we have not tried. You are the sea of possibilities, so after all, we can do so much together.”

The surge/current suddenly settled. I felt like the sea smiled at me. Gentle rain was now falling, and the sea became calm and quiet, a glistening sheet of water, almost like a still lake. My red boat arrived, and I jumped in. I knew, without a doubt, that I am going in a different direction this time. I made the decision to sail the sea of possibilities, to break the chains of my soul.

I promised myself to follow my heart, just like Moxie taught me, just like she did in real life. I trust that her presence and light will guide me on the path of service to people and animals again.