If you can only let yourself experience the joy and the heartache of discovering who you really are, or better, who you really want to be, it is so worth doing it! It is a scary, beautiful, uplifting process, where doubts blend so well with the struggle to break free. It is “THE” major turning point in your life. At least this is how it felt to me.
There were, and still are many “mini turning points”. Each of them felt like I literally wanted to take a break from myself. I wanted to break free from some my old beliefs, patterns, habits and fixed ideas. I needed to distance myself from the truth as I used to know it. I left behind some of my old convictions, one a time, like little breadcrumbs on a trail, except I did not want to find my way back to them.
I never came back for them, but they still managed to find me every so often. They silently snuck back into my backpack, like a slick snake gliding unseen through the leaves of the forest. They stayed for a while. The backpack got heavier. I checked it, emptied it. I started again. Many times.
Very few friends see me during these mini turning points, but the trees, the waters, the mountains and the birds get to see plenty of me. In the middle of nowhere though, with all I left behind, I discovered, and I still do, who I truly am. The more mini turning points I had, the more I felt a new, fresh, loving energy filling my body. When I return, there is a calmness in my heart and a feeling of trust in the world, a trust in myself.
I realized that starting each day with things that truly matter to me is so beautiful, it sets me up for an incredible day. Yes, that means waking up early. I know this does not sound appealing for some but just think of how many breathtaking sunrises you get to see!
I am now really enjoying my “mini turning points” where I get to take breaks from the old “version” of myself as I grow into the new one. I trust that one day, I will leave my entire old self behind and travel light, just with the new me, as silly, joyous, loving, happy and content as I can possibly feel. Cheers to all the mini and major turning points in our lives!